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Old 07-01-2015, 04:00 PM   #1
Cayuga
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Default A Buggy Situation{Solo Maeda}

A Buggy Situation



Starring-
Maeda Ten


Getting a strange note and letter from a strange boy can really lead to a strange encounter with some strange bugs.

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Old 07-01-2015, 04:29 PM   #2
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Oh no! I put this in the wrong forum; can someone please move it to the correct one!?
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Old 07-08-2015, 04:14 PM   #3
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Ima give this the quick and nasty rate, since I already read the thread.

First off, like I said I would, I'll give you an AP for starting off this little bit of a personal arc. Since I'm totally out of AP apart from that I can't give anything else, but I am giving you this with the expectation it'll be finished. Don't disappoint!

As for the thread itself I found it a bit too short for my tastes. I understand stopping right at the climax so the next thread is more exciting but something in the middle like the two Maeda having to evade maybe a military patrol or something would have made this thread feel less like it was hurried to the finish line. Something to consider for the next thread, at least.

Also I'll say it here since I've seen it in multiple other threads: if you need an NPC name, try going to unfinished or to the character registry, and stealing a first or last name from there. In our last Rain thread you had a guy named Ren, a general named Ten, and your guy named Nen. In this thread the guy's name is Ren and your character is named Ten. See the pattern? Try and find different names for NPCs when you can.

That being said you did take the thread in a slightly different direction than I was expecting and I'm glad to see you stretching it out, even if I'm complaining a bit about there not being too much meat here. It's not enough to give you max points but you're going in somewhat of the right direction, so the next thread might up there if you put in the effort.

One point, stats only, along with 1 AP from me.

Last edited by Junge; 07-08-2015 at 07:02 PM..
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Old 07-09-2015, 08:28 AM   #4
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One point into Control, and I will keep the AP for now

I will change it up next time JUNGE!
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