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Old 03-07-2013, 09:05 PM   #1
Solias
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Default Hyryu Taiyoshi [Leaf Genin]

Name: Hyryu Taiyoshi
Age: 15
Sex: Male
Height: 5' 2"

Character Type: Shinobi
Country/Village: Konohagakure, Konoha
Rank: Genin
Division: Hada

Physical Description: After leaving his home in Teitetsu, Hyryu Taiyoshi has taken on a scuffy look. Disowned by his father and left to survive on his own has driven him to become a ninja so that he might prove himself. The tall boy doesnt seem to be fighter until you look beneath his scraggly black hair into his cold grey eyes you with see the fire of a warrior who revels in combat. Fighting is what he knows and it has molded him all his life. His skin is the color of lightly tanned leather.

Hyryu Sol is well built for someone his age, broad shoulders frame his body well. He isnt exactly handsome but he has a sort of ruggedness that is a sight to behold. His face is sharp like hammered steel and his jaw is set like it too. A few thin hairs have begun to appear on his chin, the beginings of his journey to becoming the great man he is determined to be.

His skin is the color of lightly tanned leather. on his skin is a faint, extensive network of cuts, bruises and burns; the mark of someone who forges steel. The scars over his body cover the lanky muscle stretched over his long, bones. One might call him scrawny from a distance but up close it is the build of a martial artist that has dedicated his like to becoming strong. He treasures his hands above any other part because of how talented the are, as a result the are free of the scars that cover much of his body


Clothing: Hyryu Taiyoshi has never had much of a fashion sense, as a result his attire is quite plain. Grey jeans cover his legs, light scorches cover much of his jeans. He has a grey t-shirt with words so faded with time it is unreadable. Taiyoshi likes to wear a long leather jacket when he can as it hides the armguards he never leaves home without. The jacket falls to almost mid thigh. He also wears a pair of leather gloves of a forger, custom fit so he can wear them every day for any occasion. He also wears a leather sword belt that he uses to proudly display the katanas he forged himself. The black lacquered shealths and black ray skin grips make them both true beauties to anyone who might call themselves a master of the blade. The katanas that Taiyoshi carry have exquisite filigree of raging flames in the hilt and the heads of dragons in the pommel. The katana are meant to mirror each other when wielded in the hands that they where made to fit. They were forged as the physial representation of his will of fire, as a result they gleam in the sunlight like prefect diamonds. Taiyoshi tends to wear his headband tied around his upper left arm. Taiyoshi also likes to wear a pure white kimono during his morning sword exercises; this is the only time one might ever see him with his long hair tied back.


Personality: Hyryu Taiyoshi is the sole heir to his families blacksmith foundry and as a result has always had the expectations of his entire family riding down on his shoulders. his responsibility was impressed upon him at a very young age. Growing up to become a master swordsman and a master smith left little time for playing or making friends, as a result he developed a very rough way of interacting with the people around him mostly letting his training sword do his talking. The pressure that his family placed upon him left little room for failure so he became very stubborn. Hyryu Shizuo rarely had to punish his son as most fathers might as when Taiyoshi had failed he would devote every second making up for his shortcomings, sometimes placing harsh training on himself or denying himself food for days at a time.

Hyryu Taiyoshi's only method of entertainment throughout his childhood was to spar with the students of the local dojos near his home and has a fierce love of swordplay. He will not hold back when he begins a fight rather he would find it insulting if the same courtesy was not given to him. He would say "Fight your hardest and if you survive use that defeat to drive yourself to grow."

After he was disowned for disgracing the family by learning Ryuujin Fu, Taiyoshi became even more determined to be come a great swordsman. He doesnt want his father to for give him rather he wants him to acknowledge that he truly is a great swordsman, worthy of his name and birthright.


Nindo: "Way of the Ninja": All hardships in life are there to temper those who are strong enough to live through them

Primary Archetype: Blade Dancer
Special: When taken as Primary Archetype, the character can temporarily gains access to his trained sword style’s next stage “benefits”. This only includes stage bonuses and regular techniques. This special only lasts for one post.
Primary: Physical
Secondary: Own Choice
Tertiary: Own Choice
Stat Merit: +1 to Strength, +1 to Speed, +1 to Tactics
Stat Flaw: -1 to Willpower, -1 to Reserves, -1 to Power

Statistics

Physical
Strength: 1 [+1 BD] 2 [+6 Pool] 8 [+10 Multiple Sword] (Level 2)
Speed: 1 [+1 BD] 2 [+4 Pool] 6 [+5 Ryuujin-fu] (Level 2)
Stamina: 1 [+1 Ryuujin-fu] (Level 1)

Mental
Intelligence
: 1 [+2 GMAP] 3
Tactics: 1 [+1 BD] 2
Willpower: 1 [-1 BD] 0 [+8 Pool] 8

Chakra
Power: 1 [-1 BD] 0 [+3 Pool] 3
Control: 1 [+2 Pool] 3
Reserves: 1 [-1 BD] 0 [+1 Pool] 1

Jutsus and Techniques

Baisuu Tou Ryuu (Multiple Sword Style)
Stage 2 Strength 8, Speed 6, Willpower 6 (+10 Str, +4 Spd)
Special techniques
Aficionado
Tou Gappei
Wadou Ichimonji
Nana-Jyuu-Ni Pondo Hou

Ryuujin-fu
Stage 1 4 Spd, 4 Str Control 2, Power 2 (+5 Speed, +1 Strength, +1 Stamina)
Special technique
Tenka

Global Ninjutsu
Kawarimi no Jutsu Power 2, Tactics 2

Inventory
Shinobi Kit: 0
Katana x3: 9
Arm Guards: 1

Weapon Points Remaining: 0

Additional Weapon Points Gained: 0 + 2[Aficionado]

Biography: Hyryu Taiyoshi is from a family of blacksmiths generations old. His family has always been of upper middle class never gaining any true notoriety. Taiyoshi is the oldest of triplets, his brother and sister were sent off at an early age to live with relatives who had lost their own heirs. He has had almost no contact with either of them for the most part. Taiyoshi's father, Hyryu Shizuo, has been teaching his son everything about swordsmanship that has been pass through the reteaching of father to son, citing what his grandfather said before him, "A smith cannot create a blade worthy of even the lowest bandit if he knows nothing of the sword."

Taiyoshi has been learning the ways of the hammer and blade since he began to walk. He has always been an excellent student, to say nothing of his hotheadedness and arrogance. Taiyoshi made a hobby of going to sword dojos to challenge the students to further hone his skills. He made use of a rough loose style to out match any who would fight him.

The cycle of training went on for many years until a day where he saw an unarmed man defeat 4 trained swordsmen over a misunderstanding in the market district. Taiyoshi tryed for weeks to defeat the man but every attack ended in defeat. This became routine until the man asked if Taiyoshi would like to be trained as a brawler like him. At first he refused and continued to fight him regularly. Eventually he submitted to the training and learned Ryuujin Fu. Through this training he found many flaws in his own technique and became a better fighter because of this training.

A few weeks after he turned ten Taiyoshi was challenging a local dojo, as was his custom the master the fed up with Taiyoshi scaring off his students he thought to teach him a lesson and attacked Taiyoshi with a real sword, not the wooden one used in training. He cut though the wooden sword Taiyoshi had with ease but he never saw the two broken ribs and a broken hand coming. When Hyryu Shizuo heard of this incident he was so outraged that his heir would sink so low as to fight unarmed he disowned him and sent him away to become a shinobi. Hyryu Taiyoshi refuses to this day to show anyone his Ryuujin Fu.

When Taiyoshi was disowned he left for Konoha to join the academy. He knew that the best option to become a ninja to continue his training. He went north to Konoha taking a leisurely route knowing hard days would await him in the academy. Taiyoshi knew that even getting into the academy would be a long shot but getting through it quickly would be just as difficult. Due to his families tutelage he was able to make it through the academy in 5 years. It was never easy pushing himself like that, but then that's all that life has ever shown him.

Being in the midst of so many conflicts that have happened during his time living in Konoha has been hard on Taiyoshi. Living with his family in Teitetsu his father always said not to concern himself in the events of the day. The times of war and strife has always been a time of profit for a family of smiths, but since he has had to live on his own Taiyoshi has had to grit his teeth seeing all of the shinobi who have died in defense of their homes and do nothing. He knows not to add himself to the fray no matter how much he wishes to help. His corpse would only help the enemy and prove his father right. This policy of keeping out of the fights didn't last very long when Konaha was invaded by those animal hybrid things. the night of the invasion Taiyoshi's dorm building was attacked by pack of what looked to be six wolf men. He knew that all the other students would not survive unless they could get some help, so Taiyoshi used himself as a distraction. The hungry pack meant to make a meal out of the academy students but didnt expect resistance. Tai help them off for 3 hours until a squad of jonin who were passing through the area. He later found out that after he collapsed from exhaustion that he had fatality wounded one and crippled another. He also learned that they had already kill 19 other students who hadn't made it back yet.

Taiyoshi spent 5 years in the academy where he was taught how to use basic ninjutsu in the academy and passed through. At the graduation ceremony he even got to see the Hokage for the first time. He was in attendance for the occasion and even gave a short speech to the newly promoted Genin. Taiyoshi was given high honors in his class for his Taijutsu and for his relatively quick grasp of basic chakra control.

Writing Example:
Today was the day, today he would leave for the Academy. Today he would leave his home and inheritance forever. He could say good bye to his friend if he had any or fill his empty stomach. He could but he knew he wouldnt, for he had work to do. He had to forge a katana worthy of a shinobi. Hard tedious work it was to forge a good sword that wouldn’t let one down. Been a practitioner of the multiple sword style he had to forge two for himself, a process that normally took weeks he could manage to wedge into an afternoon.

The first blade was done he would name them together when they were both finished. Fitting because he and these katana weren’t so different, Taiyoshi's thoughts drifted off to his siblings for only a moment before snapping back to the task at hand. He stoked the coals with chakra as he folded the metal again and again. Taiyoshi loved to smith almost as much as he loved to fight and he took much pleasure in watching the curve of the blade take form. “Soon,” he whispered to his blade. “Soon you shall sing for me. You will be the orchestra and I you conductor.” The swords song would soon cut through the dull ring the world had seemed to take on. The ringing of the hammer echoed in the empty shop. Taiyoshi stoked the coals again, and the charka infused flames leaped to life once more. The cherry-red blade seemed to be slowly coming to life as it took shape.

To bring form to Taiyoshi was the same as to breathe life. He lifted the new blade to look at it with the setting sun to inspect for flaws. He had an eye for detail so he knew this blade was near perfect. He plunged the red-hot sword into a barrel of water. He let the steam roll past him as he could felt the heat leave the blade he held in his tongs. He finished the last of the preparations to the moment of truth.

He lay the naked blade across his anvil, hammer in hand he brought the tool down upon the steel. As the last ringing of the hammer faded away he inspected his blade. There wasn’t to slightest bend to his blade and his proof was evidence of his labor. The proof shone in the last rays of sunlight, an anvil engulfed in the forges' fire. Now they needed a name but that would be work for tomorrow, because tomorrow he would enter the academy and become a shinobi of Konoha.

Thread Log:
Supply and Demand Nana-Jyuu-Ni Pondo Hou
Acquisition Attention Aficionado

Last edited by Wess; 07-03-2018 at 12:23 AM.. Reason: cleaning up ratings
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Old 03-07-2013, 10:03 PM   #2
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You only spent 7 of your Mental stat pool, so you get 1 more since genin get 8 for their secondary.

It would be very nice if you could include the item cost alongside the name. It all adds up to 20 so there's nothing wrong there, but some people might not have the item costs memorized (and you might want to change it up later), so it's good to put them down anyway.

Genin are allowed 7 techs and you have taken 4. I know it's a common problem to not have enough stats to take 7 techs (especially on physical primaries) and it's totally okay to only have 4. I'm just mentioning it in case you weren't aware.

Your biography needs to be at least 500 words long. You're just a little short, and judging from the character descriptions I imagine you won't have any trouble adding a little extra to it. (:

You might consider putting some paragraphs in your writing example. Just a suggestion to make it easier for the people who can actually approve stuff.

You use "Hyryu" and "Hiryu" a few times in your character sheet. Pick one and make it all consistent. Hiryu is a bit more japanese-y but I don't think anyone will care which one you go with.

Overall a good first effort though.
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Old 03-07-2013, 10:48 PM   #3
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One other thing to note, you'll want to change the thread title to {Leaf Genin} Hiryu Sol or something like that. The first name might need to be changed as well, to something more Japanese sounding. I'll leave that up to the GMs though.

Could you please bold the different sections? It just makes it easier for those of us checking over.

Also, you made a mistake in linking to your Global Ninjutsu. You linked the tech, rather than the list.

You'll need to pick an actual division for your character. The division info can be found at the end of Leaf's RP Information.

That being said, the bio needs a decent bit of work. Your character can have ties to Teitetsu, but if he's a shinobi, he'd be living in Konoha.

Most children end up going to the academy at a young age, around five or six, and graduate from the academy/become genin around twelve or so.

You'll also want to go through the information and add in some of the recent events that went on: the Hokage disappearing, the war with Yuki, the invasions of the hybrid beasts, the old Council collapsing, ANBU being marked as traitors and then cleared about a year or so later. Even if he wouldn't have participated in these events, thoughts on the matter would help establish him as part of the village.

That being said, there are a few run on sentences and left out words here or there. A quick re-read after you're done should clear those up. <3
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Old 03-09-2013, 02:41 AM   #4
Solias
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Hey thanks for replying so quickly with the help, i really appreciate the input. i look forward to being able to play with everyone. Ive finished the editing so when everyou get a chance to read over my corrections and additions.

Last edited by Solias; 03-10-2013 at 04:18 AM..
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Old 03-18-2013, 07:44 PM   #5
Nutextrordinaire
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Pretty solid for an unconventional route, but the bio needs more...of the Academy, student learning, because the average student spends like 5-6 years there, and also! There is no mention of recent Leaf ongoings, can't really live in Konoha or Hi no Kuni without being affected by at least SOME of these!

Here's a quick bullet point list, you can dig deeper if you want a more indepth knowledge of the current events.

The numbers check out on the stats, and if you like you do have one more jutsu point to spend as you wish (I count only 6, Genin get 7).
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Old 03-20-2013, 04:42 PM   #6
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Alright i have ungraded my biography. Is there anything else i need or is it finished? Thanks for all the feedback on my first character.
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:36 PM   #7
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Hi there!

Sorry it has taken me so long to get over here and give your character a look. First off, nice work on the stats and jutsu and inventory, etc. Looks good.

It does indeed take 5-6 years for a student to get through the academy, so you'll probably want to adjust your character's timeline a bit. If you haven't seen it already, this thread was written to help iron out that sort of information. You're off to a good start, so don't get discouraged!

Also, I'm offering 2GMAP for new Leaf genin. That means you have two more points (and please label them as GMAP when you use them) to spend on stats or jutsu or inventory stuff as you please. Yay for free stuff! If you're not sure what GMAP are or how to spend them, peruse this post for clarification.

Thanks for your patience. You're almost done!
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Old 03-29-2013, 04:47 PM   #8
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Ok so ive edited my timeline so i have now spent 5 years in the academy, and i've added the two GMAP to my intelligence. i am done with this character sheet so I'll be ready to start posting as soon as i can get approval. Thank you everyone who gave me input on this sheet, this has been a long time to get through this process
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Old 04-05-2013, 11:41 AM   #9
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It still says (at the end of the 5th paragraph) that he got through the academy in 2 and a half years. As soon as that's gone, you'll have yourself a Leaf GM approval.

Thanks for your patience. Nice job.
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:56 PM   #10
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Aright the last correction is complete.
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