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Old 08-11-2017, 01:48 PM   #1
Mizu
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ROCKabye
The night time is supposed to be a time for quiet contemplation.
A rogue spirit decides that's not the case and now Kaori, son the prestigious Yakshiro Miko
has to deal with empty shrine and a spirit who somehow knows just what he's thinking
and who he's thinking about.



A Solo Adventure in over 3000 words.
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Last edited by Mizu; 08-11-2017 at 09:36 PM..
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Old 08-12-2017, 04:23 PM   #2
Bass
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We really must stop meeting like this... ._x

Boop. Claimed.
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Old 08-12-2017, 04:57 PM   #3
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On this weeks episode of Kaori’s secret life;

First Impressions

Definitely a gear change in terms of plot from the last Kaori solo, which is a plus, keeping the threads fresh and distinct from each other tonally helps paint a nice three dimensional picture of Kaori’s world. Getting to see a part which he seems normally so secretive about is nice too, his night job hasn’t been mentioned too often in other threads he’s been present in, and even then only in passing, so I appreciated the chance to finally get a look at it.

As usual, setting atmospheres is a key strength of yours, and the world-bending nature of the spirits allowed you to show off your talents in that regard once again; even describing literal infinite darkness was handled with a pleasant artistic flourish and your usual vivid imagery. Sadly, one place you are being let down is spelling, auto-correct has not been your friend these last couple of threads, and there are a growing number of instances where you use real words, but not I think the ones you were trying to type. For example in this thread we were introduced to an old well that actively attacked ruffians that pass by, rather than attracted them n_x; I know how easy it is to get lost in the flow of a thread, especially a solo because you can move the thread along at the speed you’re constructing the narrative at in your head, but a little proofreading at the end never hurts.

Final Rating!


Kaori remains an endearing character, a feat thats a hard line to walk when writing “dumb” characters (I refuse to believe he’s actually as clueless as he presents, its in there somewhere, even if just as instinct if not as facts) And these little behind the scenes windows into his life continue to entertain and inform.

2 Points

Also: yay, someone finally told the big doofus what was up n_x
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Old 08-12-2017, 05:24 PM   #4
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True. I'll be getting better in regards to making sure the words I want to use are present. I now can use an actual computer a bit more frequently, so apple won't autocorrect my shenanigans too much anymore.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll be honest, when I write these solos, it's mostly for you and Wess, so I'm really happy you had a chance to rate it. I appreciate the criticism, and will actively employ what you said. Thanks!

Oh, and I'm taking +2 to Strength. Thanks again!
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