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Old 03-14-2018, 08:15 PM   #1
Wess
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What happens when 3 jounin grow to hate one another over the course of approximately 20,000 words? Go read their bios because this thread isn't nearly that long! This thread is about getting all of that angst out. Yay for character progression.
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Old 03-15-2018, 12:23 AM   #2
Bukowski
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Mine, yo, let's get it!
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Yeah, I stunt, but I’m a li’l more realer
When it come from the heart, don’t it feel mo’ iller?
Watch my flow go bananas, I’m a li’l gorilla
So pardon me, man, y’all gon’ have to pardon me



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Old 03-16-2018, 09:47 AM   #3
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That was actually a very good thread!

Overall: I enjoyed this thread because there was a certain lightness of tone and a lack of real stakes in terms of life or death shinobi shenanigans. I can admit that going into the thread I did not read the biographies in their entirety and I tried to only go to them sparingly while reading the thread. This is because for the most part I enjoy threads being stand alone entities and also because I'm lazy, that being said, by the time the thread was over I had found myself already skimming through Masami's and Sudao's biography pretty much to completion.

These are three intertwined characters with intertwined histories and as such this was a character drama and characterization was both critical and pivotal. Y'all all accomplished that goal and while there was no real resolution, those delicious characterization seeds were planted and I could see this thread while not being so interesting or exciting in terms of actual events--it wil have a lot of pay off in terms of character development! I also thought the way y'all portrayed the interactions with the jewels was really interesting and creative. Overall this whole thing was a very fun and easy read! So Let's go into the individual notes!


Mizu: You know what? I have to say that this character is very much up my alley and I really enjoyed reading him. It's likely my own ego but I could relate a lot to Kaori because he reminded me so much of The Fist in terms of the fact that he is both unrelentingly goofy and unrelentingly optimistic. You brought a good energy to the thread and there was a lightheartedness here that Kaori brought that was integral in making this little party a nice and balanced RP meal. The scenes where Kaori finally gave control to Kazu and finally spoke n his own defense as opposed to just being a human Labrador were very well written and very powerful. I dug it a lot!

Wess: Oh, your character is insufferable, but that was largely the point wasn't it? Overall, I thought that you did a great job with your characterization and I felt like Sudao really could be either a high powered ninja or a high powered Yuppie attorney. There's a character type here that I can sense you have a familiarity with either personally or in the people you deal with--Sudao is an overachieving, privileged asshole and your usage of the jewel simply exacerbated that. I enjoyed it a lot. I will say that you should be careful with simply waving off the reactions sometimes and blaming it on the arrogance. There was a post after Masami really went in where Otohime was like "Nice monologue!", I got the characterization, but I have always found RPing is like an improv game. When you dismiss and say no, it kinda cuts characterization and narrative agency for your partner off at the hip. This is wasn't really a problem in this thread and just a note of my own because otherwise I thought you did awesome.

Bass: I really don't even know what I need to say because this was a really show case for you and Masami. She's both grounded and conflicted, layered and complex. You need to have a certain level of maturity to write a character like her for obvious reasons and that's exactly the vibe I got from your writing: matured and layered. Masami felt like the most human character here and the contrast between the extreme of Sudao and the animated nature of Kaori was awesome. I haven't read as much of your stuff as Mizu and Wess over the years and this thread had me feeling like an idiot afterwards for not. A+ stuff.

All of y'all get 3 points, 1 on jootsu.
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Grass Capo to Big Boss Cain



Yeah, I stunt, but I’m a li’l more realer
When it come from the heart, don’t it feel mo’ iller?
Watch my flow go bananas, I’m a li’l gorilla
So pardon me, man, y’all gon’ have to pardon me



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Old 03-17-2018, 03:10 PM   #4
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Sudao is the combination of my negative traits, essentially, amplified by 10 and mixed with a delectable sprinkle of the negative traits of my friends. Essentially, the gays are all cunts to one another. The main reason Sudao/Otohime disregarded Masami was because they figured silencing her with another bout of apathy would put them back in control.

Anyways, I'll be taking, under the Miko tree:

[4]The Ritual of Farsight: 12 Willpower, 11 Intelligence, 10 Tactics, 12 Control
[5]Sensing Truth: 17 Control, 16 Power, 16 Reserves, 15 Willpower

and +1 Willpower. Sudao has the bookworm archetype in case anyone was wondering.

Here's the rating for whoever does it:

HTML Code:
[INDENT][B][COLOR="MidnightBlue"]Entry 01:[/COLOR][/B] [I][URL="http://www.narutorp.net/showthread.php?t=46007"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Party ROCKers[/COLOR][/URL][/I]
[SIZE="1"][COLOR="SlateGray"]+The Ritual of Farsight, +Sensing Truth, +1 Willpower[/COLOR][/SIZE][/INDENT]
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Old 04-02-2018, 03:38 PM   #5
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Oh, whoops. I almost forgot to claim my points. Had thanked you so much in chat I hadn't realised I'd not done it here O.x

So yay, thankyou again, and I'll be putting all my points into inventory n_x
I have plans for that shiny new heirloom...
(I'll handle my own edits, don't worry!)
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Old 04-02-2018, 03:46 PM   #6
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Thanks for the rating. Buko I would be lying if I said Fist wasn’t some inspiration for this guy. He seemed like a lot of fun to play, and I gotta say it really is.

Im taking:
Wave of Light, Stage four Miko
Requirements: 12 Control, 11 Power, 10 Reserves, 12 Willpower
And +2 to Control

Did my own edits
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Last edited by Mizu; 04-02-2018 at 03:55 PM..
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Old 04-02-2018, 03:59 PM   #7
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All edits done. Moved and finished!
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