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Old 06-07-2018, 03:00 PM   #1
Based Kiba
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Default GRIT: Mental Cosmic

GRIT: Mental Cosmic

A youkai eradication mission featuring Star-child Altair & Boy Courage Isamu
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Old 06-10-2018, 11:37 AM   #2
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Boop.

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Old 07-19-2018, 12:18 AM   #3
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REEEEEEEE!

Claimed and rated.

So, just some preliminary thoughts as a whole. When the thread first started, I was very, very into it. The hellhounds, the praying, the spirits, the fighting, the illusion, and the destruction of the totem. That could have been a thread all by itself, and I would have read it. It was that good. Then, the tone started to shift, there was some awkward teenage ogling, generic, bland human stuff (not really, humanizing magical beings sent to purge the world of evil spirits makes them relatable.) The sudden appearance of the next mini-boss caught me off guard; I felt like Natsu running outside and suddenly finding him was a cop out. In a way, you guys fashioned him into the "big boss" because he got more screen time that the imp at the end. Natsu calls it a Bijuu, but I'm not too sure on that; there was no mention of any tails. So I'm not too sure if Natsu gets an additional Bijuu XP for that.

But!

All things considered, it was a really good thread. I just wish that you would have structured it into two threads because it seemed really rushed towards the end, even though you took your time and did an additional 6 posts. All the sudden, it was OKAY HERE'S THE BIG BOSS FIGHT and in two posts (a piece) of fighting, it was like, oh he's dead. Literally, the hellhounds and priest and his elemental got more screen time than the big baddie. It was almost like reading the Hobbit.

And the reason why this thread was so good was because you two write really well together. It felt like I was reading a novel written by one person: Roleplaying doesn't get much better than that.

I'm going to spare you personal criticisms because my only real critique would be to pace yourselves better when you do a thread like this next time. I caught a few misspellings, mixed up pronouns, and maybe one or two missing commas here and there, but there wasn't anything groundbreaking.

tl;dr: Natsu gets 3 points, one for jutsu or Miko techs or whatever it is nonshinobi get. Isamu gets 2 points, one for jutsu.

Also:
Quote:
Originally Posted by VD
“Don’t touch me,” She said, absently, brushing his hand away from her. “I am a woman of the cloth.”
same, sis
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Old 07-23-2018, 05:51 PM   #4
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Thank you for the rating, Mr. Wess. It was a bijuu!

+2 Control and Stage 1 of Precision Fist, if you please. 4/10 total on bijuu XP.

The "Bijuu Arts:" tag can be removed (legacy bijuu stuff) and replaced with


[[b][color="Sienna"]Seido Kobushi[/color][/b]]
[b]Stage One[/b] (Control 5, Power 3) (+3 Strength)


And for the thread rating:

X/X/18 [url=http://narutorp.net/showthread.php?t=46157]GRIT: Mental Cosmic[/url] +2 Control, +Seido Kobushi Stage 1 | +2 Bijuu XP

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Old 11-05-2018, 05:40 PM   #5
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+1 Stamina and Stage Three Ganjou Taiki! Thanks for the rating Wess. I'll get my edits ;D
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