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Old 04-06-2019, 04:55 AM   #1
Little do they know...
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: London, England
Posts: 772
Default In Spirit

In Spirit

Grass Sennin Kinshi Haru performs in Sougen for the theatre district's most recent fundraising festival of music, arts and culture. However, whilst looking to the future, he is confronted by some of the darkest moments from his past, heralded by a shadowy figure who knows more than he should.

The Grassland Journeys begin.

Last edited by Calibur; 04-09-2019 at 02:45 AM..
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:15 PM   #2
u havin a giggle m8
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Claimed, rating up later today.
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Old 04-14-2019, 07:46 PM   #3
u havin a giggle m8
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Quick and easy Two points, no jutsu for a good thread.

The early few posts were a bit slow, and I would have appreciated maybe a little bit more mystery early on since the story didn't have a clear direction until fake Grandpa showed up, but your writing was easy enough to read that even the parts that dragged weren't bad. Notable in this thread was your descriptions for the element hands (and you even linked your jutsu!), which I thought were very nicely done and gave a very clear mental picture of what was happening. You paced your character's emotions well, having him go through a gamut of experiences in a short time frame, but it didn't come off as schizophrenic or random. I also liked the awareness present, where your character (and you, the writer) acknowledged some of the ambiguity of the situation when a shinobi stalks a random guy then threatens to arrest him. So that's all cool.

And good job with the setting establishment and describing the lighting, having your character react to said dwindling lighting, and not getting bogged down having to explain every little detail of the thread. Honestly, there's a lot to like about the thread, my misgivings about the sluggish start aside. It's very technically proficient. I wish the first and second halves were connected by a bit more than just a thin thread of Grandpa but whatever, I'm not gonna sweat it. If it works, it works, and this thread worked for me.
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Old 04-15-2019, 03:49 AM   #4
Little do they know...
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Posts: 772

Cheers for the rating, Junge.

In classic Cal style, I'm going to address Haru's roundabout requirement formatting (an issue you raised during registry) while TP edits are being made and I add some AP to buff out his lower level jutsu options.

Please can I have the following entry:
  • Encounter #01: In Spirit
    2TP to Stats: +2 Speed
    10AP to Jutsu: Chakra Light, Chakra Hunting, Iron Chain Calling, Nature’s Clairvoyance, Root Spear, Grass Chain Wrap, Thorn Dragon, Grass Stalks, Nature’s Wrath, Chameleon.

With Haru's lists adapted to meet the following specifications:

Sleeping Blue Dragon Taijutsu
Stage 6: +30 Speed, +24 Strength [SPD 30, STR 25, STA 21, TAC 22, WIL 14]
\\Special Technique: Kirioroshi – Shiten Tsuki (Strike – Four Point Thrust)
\\Special Technique: Nukitsuke – Ushiro Kiri (Draw – Back Cut)
\\Special Technique: Nukitsuke – Shiho Kiri (Draw – Four Direction Cut)

The Fierce God Fist
Stage 7: +35 Strength, +28 Stamina [STR 37, STA 33, SPD 29, WIL 24, TAC 20]
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Ago (Fierce God Jaw)
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Sentou (Fierce God Punch)
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Chikaraashi (Fierce God’s Strong Legs)
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Assai Nigiri (Fierce God’s Crushing Grip)
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Karada (Fierce God Body)
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Kire (Fierce God Cut)
\\Special Technique: Kinshin Senshi (Fierce God Stab)

Global Ninjutsu
Stage 1: Yoso no Te (Element Hand) [PWR 4, CTR 4]
Stage 1: Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Switch Technique) [PWR 2, TAC 2]
Stage 2: Kabenobori no Jutsu (Wall Walking Technique) [PWR 5, CTR 4, RES 4]
Stage 2: Chakra Hikari no Jutsu (Chakra Light Technique) [PWR 6, CTR 6. INT 4]
Stage 3: Hitoshizeru Bakuhatsu no Jutsu (Hidden Explosion Technique) [PWR 9, CTR 9, INT 7]
Stage 3: Chakra Tsuitou no Jutsu (Chakra Hunting Technique) [PWR 8, CTR 8, RES 6]
Stage 4: Tenkuu Hokou no Gyou (The Art of Walking on Air) [PWR 15, CTR 15, INT 14, RES 13]
Stage 4: Tessayose no Jutsu (Iron Chain Calling Technique) [PWR 14, CTR 13, RES 11, TAC 10]
Stage 5: Takai Yoso no Te (Higher Element Hand) [PWR 18, CTR 17, RES 17, TAC 14, Yoso no Te]
Stage 6: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique) [PWR 21, CTR 20, RES 19, INT 17, TAC 15]

Grass Ninjutsu & Division Swap
Stage 1: Etai Souken (Nature Creation) [PWR 2, TAC 2]
Stage 1: Kaika (Bloom) [PWR 3, WIL 2, Replacing—Kusa Maina-Hei]
Stage 2: Shyushi Karamari (Seed Entangle) [PWR 5, CTR 4, RES 4]
Stage 2: Hinsei no Senrigan (Nature’s Clairvoyance) [INT 6, TAC 5, CTR 5]
Stage 3: Tsukene Yari (Root Spear) [PWR 8, CTR 8, RES 6]
Stage 3: Kusa Kusariei (Grass Chain Wrap) [WIL 8, INT 8, TAC 6]
Stage 3: Kusaki Kengeki (Plant Weapons) [INT 9, TAC 9, CTR 7]
Stage 4: Keiryu (Thorn Dragon) [INT 12, PWR 12, CTR 11, RES 10]
Stage 4: Kusa Shunshin (Grass Instant Relocation) [INT 14, TAC 13, WIL 11, CTR 10]
Stage 4: Jikihi Kodachi (Personal Grove) [PWR 15, CTR 15, INT 14, RES 13, Grass GM Approval]
Stage 5: Kusa Mikon (Grass Wilds) [INT 17, TAC 16, WIL 16, PWR 15]
Stage 6: Boubi Kusa Tentou (Defense Grass Counter) [INT 21, TAC 20, WIL 19, PWR 17, CTR 15]
Stage 7: Makai Sakura Se (Hell's Cherry Blossom Torrent) [PWR 30, CTR 27, RES 26, INT 22, TAC 20]

Grass Genjutsu
Stage 1: Fuuka no Jutsu (Enfade) [PWR 2, TAC 2]
Stage 1: Kusanone no Jutsu (Grass Stalks) [INT 3, RES 3]
Stage 2: Etai Teichi no Jutsu (Nature's Espionage) [PWR 5, CTR 4, RES 4]
Stage 3: Genjutsu Kai (Release) [PWR 9, CTR 9, INT 7, Replacing—Kakuu Kagai no Jutsu]
Stage 3: Doki Etai no Jutsu (Nature’s Wrath) [INT 8, WIL 8, TAC 6]
Stage 4: Kamigami riki no Jutsu (Godly Strength) [PWR 12, INT 12, TAC 11, WIL 10]
Stage 5: Gisou no Jutsu (Chameleon) [PWR 17, CTR 16, RES 16, INT 15]
Stage 5: Heki Ukiyo-ki (False Life Tree) [PWR 19, CTR 19, RES 18, INT 16]
Thank you!

[Bass] Done

Last edited by Bass; 06-30-2019 at 11:32 AM..
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