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Old 03-10-2019, 01:53 PM   #1
Bukowski
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Default [Leaf] Buko no Hero: Fist Academia!



Starring:
The Fist
Hyuuga Yuu

Combining all the excitement of being a shinobi with all the banality of Estate Law! Two of Konohagakure's finest and most powerful bloodlines at work! Part one of a two part series!


[Bass] This thread qualifies for the MotY bonus.
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Let's end the speculation, I'm talkin' to all of y'all
Males shouldn't be jealous, that's a female trait
What, you mad ‘cause you push dimes and he sell weight?
Y'all don't know my expenses, I gotta buy bigger plates
Hehehe, and more baggies — why you all aggie?
Homie, respect the game, that should be it
What you eat don't make me shit; where's the love?




Last edited by Bass; 03-11-2019 at 09:39 PM..
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Old 03-22-2019, 02:25 AM   #2
Seikon
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Claiming the next one in the chain, baby. One Lake Minnetonka Purification coming right up.
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AP: 29
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Old 03-25-2019, 05:52 PM   #3
Seikon
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Whole package felt a bit like "Dunk & Egg solve a dispute" mixed with "Naruto filler episode." It wasn't exactly an epic, sweeping arc or the greatest adventure story ever told, but it was good.

I groaned aloud when I started reading and was immediately hit with a bell test. HOWEVER, I was pleased with how you conducted it, how the test worked, how it re-introduced your characters to readers in a way that would have characterized them well for a first time reader and only built upon the years and years worth of content you've both written for either of them over time.

I really liked how you got right to work in building on the lore of Wax, kudos to Junge for revamping the list in a way that enabled this little narrative to be born and evolve. I think the way the NPCs were handled by each of you in this thread was a significant improvement on threads I've read of yours in years past. The level of humor that was built into the story and the characters themselves (love the name schemes) was particularly satisfying.

There was a certain concise structure that I admired which both of you managed to carry throughout. The images your words inspired to play out in my head were plenty enough for the scene to fill rich and real -- I wish I could trim all the fat from my own work.

I found a couple typos from each of you that I know you'd find yourselves on a re-read. I say this in a lot of threads I rate but re-reading your own posts aloud (in small sections at a time, even) can be really helpful in finding your own errors in the absence of someone willing to edit them for you (not that I think anyone here actually has an editor... but ya'll know as well as anyone that it's hard to see your own mistakes in writing, brains and shit).

I am looking forward to reading part two.

Three points for both Fist and Yuu, one for jutsu at your discretion (plus one extra MOTY point)

edit: ayy just realized Fist took a swim / took off his shirt how that relates to the gif... damn I'm slow
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Last edited by Seikon; 03-25-2019 at 05:59 PM..
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Old 03-25-2019, 06:19 PM   #4
Bukowski
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Thank you for the rating Seikon! It was a quick and easy thread, meant to be a little lighter and exactly like a filler episode so glad you got the vibes!

I will take +3 Strength and for muh jutsu I will be doing an ANBU Swap into Global (if you could like ANBU Swaps next to Global like it is for Mokuton that would be dope). We'll be swapping Stinging Mist out for Chakra Tracking which is a Stage 5.

Chakra Tracking - Power 17, Control 16, Reserves 16, Intelligence 15

I would like to make his inventory more solid since Hinoken is gone, we'll go with it like this. Please put Hinoken's link at the bottom of the inventory still crossed out because I will get the sword homie back one day!

Shinobi Kit - 0
Breathing Apparatus - 1
Zoom Goggles [Hidden as Aviator Sunglasses] - 2
Katana - 3
Tanto - 1
Wakizashi - 2
Limb Armor [Shin Guards] - 1


Thank you Seikon or VD whoever does the edits!

vd edit: edits made!
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MEMBER OF THE MUTHAFUCKIN' YEAR!
Don of the Sanada Family
Leaf & Grass Lieutenant



Let's end the speculation, I'm talkin' to all of y'all
Males shouldn't be jealous, that's a female trait
What, you mad ‘cause you push dimes and he sell weight?
Y'all don't know my expenses, I gotta buy bigger plates
Hehehe, and more baggies — why you all aggie?
Homie, respect the game, that should be it
What you eat don't make me shit; where's the love?




Last edited by Virtual Dream; 03-28-2019 at 05:10 PM..
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Old 03-28-2019, 04:50 PM   #5
Virtual Dream
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+2 Chakra Control.
+1 Stage 4 Jyuuken.
MotY Bonus: Opening Point Attacks

Opening Point Attacks in Stage 4 requires Admin approval.


[Bass]Edits Done
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¤Nara Shikagerou, Sennin of Leaf.
¤Hyuuga Yuu, Genin of Leaf.
¤Sanada Ema, Chuunin of Leaf.
¤Gushiken Ren, Chuunin of Mist.
¤Hikoboshi no Natsu, Miko of Wind.
¤Sajime Sahori, Jounin of Stone.
¤Kiku-ichimonji Jun'ko, ronin samurai.
¤Hatsuyuki Shiro, renegade shinobi.
¤Keisei Ranko, The Prince of the Keisei.
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Important NPCs: Higashi

Maybe it's the patterns that make me that made me crazy
(a r t i f i c a l f a n t a s y)
(swaps [AP] items)


Last edited by Bass; 04-02-2019 at 09:58 PM..
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Old 04-02-2019, 09:41 PM   #6
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As a long-standing character with a lot of missions under her- I mean his belt, Yuu is going to get an admin approval from me for Opening Point Attacks.
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