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Old 06-27-2019, 09:44 AM   #1
Junge
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Default [Rain] Moonsong

Shichou Akisame (Vulpix13)
Oichi Josuke (Junge)

A mysterious incurable sickness plagues a sleepy surface village. As part of the ongoing efforts of Amegakure to bolster its reputation with Rain Country citizens two medics are sent to investigate. What follows is
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Old 06-30-2019, 01:43 PM   #2
Bass
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Another one Claimed
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Old 08-21-2019, 01:44 AM   #3
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Claimed and rated.

I know this deals with the "crystal beasts" (how Yu-Gi-Oh, summon a Rainbow Dragon next time!) which is Stone jurisdiction, but as Rain GM and registry mod, I'm gonna go ahead and get this one out of here.

Junge: Four points, one for jutsu.
Vulpix: Four points, one for jutsu.

You both write well, and I think you've been in enough threads that your writing meshes well together. I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes. You both told a clear story, one that had me definitely intrigued. This being Vulpix's first thread with this character was also surprising to me. It was a nice touch that you didn't beat the big baddie within a few posts and that there were injuries.

I think my only complaint was just a tiny bit at the ending. Vulpix resolved it with Akisame's inner dialogue (he knew the people would be okay now), but I'd have liked the duo to have had some kind of follow up with the patients. It could even have been done in a few minor sentences. Also, I'm assuming that Akisame used Coverall in the final post too? Nothing too major since it's just NPCs, but keep a look out on your ninjutsu uses. Characters can only use three Stage Six ninjutsus.

I really like how you incorporated the geography though. It is likely that neighboring villages will experience the same problems. Borders are borders, but that doesn't mean what happens in one can't also happen in another. I'd like you to have incorporated a sense of desperation into the nurse who called them too; surface dwellers, requesting the help of shinobi despite the presence of Rain Military? She could have been killed! Gasp!

Despite that, it mine and Kana's own fault for keeping you guys up to date of our own musings I suppose. That will be corrected soon.

You also qualify for an additional GMAP. Spend it however you like, so long as it's on one of these characters.
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Last edited by Wess; 08-21-2019 at 06:58 PM.. Reason: I forgot that there is no longer a ranking system when it comes to points.
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Old 08-21-2019, 03:58 AM   #4
vulpix13
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Thanks for the rating.

I would like to take the following with the 4 TP, formatted as per my profile:

Intelligence:+ 3 TP

[S5] Kinjutsu: Okina Byouki no Fujikome – Forbidden Technique: Greater Disease Containment
Requirements: Intelligence 18, Willpower 17, Tactics 17, Power 14, Disease Containment

I would like to take the following with the 1 GMAP, formatted as per my profile:

[S5] Kinjutsu: Okina Byouki no Denpa – Forbidden Technique: Greater Disease Propagation
Requirements: Control 19, Power 19, Reserves 18, Intelligence 16, Disease Propagation, Greater Disease Containment

Also in the inventory I would like to add the following, as well as a new section below it:

[0] Sealing Scrolls

Acquired Diseases:
  • Rabies (virus-based, Rapid mouth foaming, fever and shakes in presence of water/rain, Inflammation of brain leading to death in 6-12 hours)
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Old 08-22-2019, 10:54 PM   #5
Junge
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o: so many points

Thanks for the super generous rating. We did get permission to do the Stone jewel stuff, in case anyone was curious!

I'd like to plop 3 of those points into WP, for a total of +6 extra WP. Then I'll spend 1 point and 1 GMAP on these two swaps:

Acupuncture Swaps
Remote Healing Needles
Stage:4

Barbiturate Release
Stage:4

This can be added to his sheet like this:
HTML Code:
[URL="http://narutorp.net/showthread.php?t=46435"]Moonsong [/URL]- +6 WP, Remote Healing Needles, GMAP: Barbiturate Release
Thanks for the edits!

Last edited by Wess; 08-23-2019 at 12:20 AM..
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