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Old 01-04-2016, 11:29 AM   #1
Wess
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Default [Sand/Renchishin]Intermission: The Recovery of Dragons


After killing Minoru and Assate, Hitoko found himself laying next to Ume, who had nearly been killed by a disciple of the dead god. The two had a rather serious conversation, with the master teaching his student a few important facets about life.
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Old 01-27-2016, 11:49 AM   #2
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Claimed by Buko
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Let's end the speculation, I'm talkin' to all of y'all
Males shouldn't be jealous, that's a female trait
What, you mad ‘cause you push dimes and he sell weight?
Y'all don't know my expenses, I gotta buy bigger plates
Hehehe, and more baggies — why you all aggie?
Homie, respect the game, that should be it
What you eat don't make me shit; where's the love?



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Old 02-23-2016, 12:18 PM   #3
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This was a pretty solid thread with two well developed characters exchanging both information and wisdom. It's not transcendental but it is remarkably well executed and solid. Which is fine, really! Intermission described the feel of the thread perfectly and as someone who has familiarity with both of the characters, I did think that some downtime and reflection benefited you both a lot!

I had a lot of appreciation for Wess' work in this thread mostly because I recognize how difficult it can be to RP with a character like Hitoko and still retain your own individual voice and not get carried away on the Hitoko Train (even though that is most definitely a loco locomotive). Because Hito is someone with about 50 threads--he's a well established and defined character and that can overwhelm others. It can be akin to adding a new character to a established show. I think you overcame this by first, playing up the family familiarity and secondly due to an innate emotional intuitiveness in your writing. You played Ume well and your writing connected with the reader in a natural way. I dug it!

Space Cowboy, you were definitely in your mode in this thread. I will say that if what impressed me with Wess was the intuitiveness in his writing--what impressed me with yours was just your level of experience in the craft. You are a writer's writer and I love seeing all the different elements you manage to balance simply with the power and knowledge you have in and over your own voice. One of the things that makes Hitoko so great is that you have both a flexibility and eagerness in his character combined with an overarching theme of growth and progress. I felt the thread had similar themes and thusly there was a lot of Hito-wisdom and quirks rubbing off on both Ume and the prose as a whole. Like I said--solid work!

We'll go with 2 points for the Dragon Princess, 1 on Jootsu and 3 points for the Dragon Emperor, same deal!
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Let's end the speculation, I'm talkin' to all of y'all
Males shouldn't be jealous, that's a female trait
What, you mad ‘cause you push dimes and he sell weight?
Y'all don't know my expenses, I gotta buy bigger plates
Hehehe, and more baggies — why you all aggie?
Homie, respect the game, that should be it
What you eat don't make me shit; where's the love?



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Old 02-23-2016, 01:42 PM   #4
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Yo, thank you very much for the review, thoroughly appreciate it. I do feel like I'm hitting my groove with Hitoko now, so these threads are getting more fun as I go along. I'll be taking 2 points into Power, and Stage 6 Raiton technique, Sennari Denshisen (Electron Beam Cluster).

I'm also taking this time to update/reallocate Hitoko's sheet in terms of Ekitai-Kenfu and Rittaisen in reflection of the new updates to the style. Currently, there 10 TP used in Ekitai and 8 TP in Rittaisen. Dropping 12 more AP to fill up on the new Special Techniques as well.

Uh, that's bout it. Lol.
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Old 02-23-2016, 03:22 PM   #5
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+1 Strength, +Stage 3 Ekitai Kenfu: Rittaisen, in addition to a hefty amount of AP and edits thrown in. I already made a new sheet with this rating included! All it really requires is Hitoko being okay with the new biography.

(Leenk)
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Old 02-23-2016, 04:31 PM   #6
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Edits made. Moving thread.
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